Anxiety

Yesterday I was writing a positive blog on here about jewellery plans and my hobbies. I didn’t finish the blog but they’re saved as you write. I was going to come back to it like I often do. I would go as far to say I was having a good day and with the obvious

30, Death and Depressed

Oh man, that title is rough, even for me. When I was a kid I went to the cinema to see 13 Going on 30 and there was the line in it “30, flirty and thriving”. So really the title isn’t as hellish as it sounds… Well maybe it is but just take it in

Bittersweet

I’m trying not dwell because “it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live”. Yesterday we bought our beer and gin for Glastonbury and when I say our I mean mine but I guess I’ll share. I think Mike’s taking some of his own beers (from work). We’re planning on carting the

Fine Line

Started on 27th April. Life. Death. The fine line between them. Depressing? Yes, but I’m going there because I’m a little plagued I suppose. Living is a whole bunch of emotions. Anxiety, excitement, anger, stress, contentment. All the good stuff. The thought that I can’t rid myself of is: but we could die at any

The Abundant Lack of Focus

I’ve been failing myself. It doesn’t surprise me. I’ve never reached my full potential. I’m the kind of person who could do something useful, be someone useful but I never get around to it. I’m a “tomorrow” person. I’m bullshit. But I owed you more than this. I owe you what I vowed to be.

Regret, reality, shock, tattoos

What even is life? I can’t get my head around it. One minute you’re there, you’re at work, you’re at the pub, you’re making plans, deciding your next meal and the next you’re in a box. The fine line between life and death is unfathomable. Absolutely bewildering. You really were one of my favourite people.

Soul Searching

(Started a few weeks ago). I don’t believe in the magic and destiny of humankind’s years. A year such as this one, 2021, is a way of which we mark time, a set of days and months. A name that we can refer to. How long ago was it since we went to the cinema?

Socks

(I’m not going to cry to this one) I just saw an advert on Facebook for the socks I bought you last Christmas. I thought I doubt he ever bothers to buy socks. And also, socks are one of the best Christmas gifts. Simple but bloody hell aren’t they great a few days after Christmas

The Committal

The way I saw death was that when my parents are old they’ll die. I’ll be alive, hence the awareness. Instead life had a different plan, I got a punch in the gut. A sudden change in the way I saw life and death. I know people die, tragedies happen but it’s that ridiculous thing;

Under a little black rain-cloud

Don’t look, don’t think. I’ve reached a new and quite frankly worse stage of grief. During the first month I read his blog, I looked at photos, I went on his Facebook profile, I listened to his songs and I even watched his service online. I feel different now. I’m struggling in a different way.