Careless

You shouldn’t be in a box. You shouldn’t be on my mind. You shouldn’t be gone. You should be at work. You should be planning your next beer. You should be counting down the hours until your shift ends. You shouldn’t be breaking my heart. I feel like I’ve woken up more heartbroken than before.

Thoughts about your thoughts

I’m supposed to be reading Carrying the Fire right now whilst it’s quiet but I’m feeling distracted. I had a little look at some of my older posts on WordPress and I rarely wrote anything with any substance. So, one of my current thoughts is that I’d really like to work on that. To write

Changes

I want to write about how I’m feeling and the changes I want to make since my brother left this life. I don’t know what term or expression I prefer. Passed away is gentle. Dead sounds harsh but it’s the brutal truth of it and Darren probably would have used this. Left this life kinda

Come Back

The title of an email, a devastated friend who can’t believe he’s accepted his invitation to your funeral, thinking of your little world beyond the door. Seeing your smile. I’m filled with dread. I feel panicky when I think of the curtains closing. You’ll really be gone. Your body will no longer exist and I’ll

Darren

There’s so much that I could write. So many thoughts since that phone call. My life has changed. It’s darker now. I’m sat at home now with a Birra Moretti. The plans to come will change me further. The darkest plans I’ve had yet. I will keep thinking “how are you gone?” I will torture