I used to have a fear that I was mostly doing counselling for the money but I realised during my training that I’m really empathic and that I’m often able to see other people’s point of view even if it disagrees with my own.
Today the tickets for the Santa and Mrs Clause tickets went on sale for Trentham Gardens. It’s been said that this Santa event is really good and that it sells out like Glastonbury, so I sure as hell wanted a ticket for my Eva. The site blew up yesterday which was the original ticket sale day because so many people were trying to access tickets. I went to their Facebook page to see what was going on and they told customers that there would be notice given for another sale day a little later. Trentham decided to sell tickets at different intervals today: 10am, 11am, 12am and 1pm, for each time there were different dates available. I tried to get tickets at each time and each time my heart sank for Eva. I couldn’t bear the thought of her missing out. The tickets were selling out within a minute each time, literally. Trentham stated that they only have 1025 tickets available and the event is in really high demand. During the last time slot, at 1pm I managed to get her a ticket!!! I felt a rush of adrenaline which might sound ridiculous but I was so elated that she could go. There are reasons other than the obvious why it’s so important to me but I won’t go into that publicly, that’s for my journal which I need to purchase soon. I found lovely little exercise books in Waterstones that I would like to use as journals. I’m so chuffed that we get to have a lovely Christmasy day at Trentham; every little thing counts at Christmas. I kept shouting that we got tickets and Eva didn’t really know what I was so happy about.
Anyway, this all got me a bit down because I thought about all the angry parents on Facebook and I could see their children in their profile pictures next to their comments and ugh I feel awful for them. These poor parents are upset because they’re children don’t get to go, it’s so sad that I feel like crying. That hit me.
It’s going to be incredibly hard facing all the disappointments with the kids, only I figure that parents feel extra disappointment and sadness.
On a different note I’m handing my first essay in tonight. Last night I felt like I hadn’t answered the question at all and I felt shit and today I feel better about it but I just don’t feel confident. I feel like I’ve answered the question but I could have missed endless important points, however, I’ve put more effort in that last year and I know that I’ve been working on it quite a lot. It’s a 50% pass mark at level 7 and I’m hoping I’ve achieved at least that. I’m hoping I have showed a good understanding and linked ideas together well. I really, really want to do well.
It’s not over yet, I have the rest of today and all night if I need it. This is everything to me. I know if these essays go well and if all the other things go well that I can give my kids the best childhoods and I would do a lot to make them happy. I don’t care how much of a challenge the course is, I’m fighting my way through it.