Today Eva and I went to a Christening. Whilst there it hit me that I’m a single mother now. I never thought I would be, I guess a lot of people who have a child don’t expect to be alone. I wanted to get married and share my life with someone but for now I’m going to focus on other things.
I’m looking for a job and a home in Stafford. I’m looking for a new life I suppose. It’s odd when you get out of a relationship, it feels like your life could go in any direction. It feels like you can be a new person. The thought is quite thrilling but the reality could be quite lonely.
I’m trying to be positive in the huge amount of negative.
Sometimes I’m really angry that I can’t fix things. Sometimes I’m so focused on what my life could become. I’m also afraid of lonely evenings after work or uni and after my daughter has gone to bed. Will I be so consumed by my life that I don’t think too much about it or will I feel lost?
I don’t know how I’ll even get a home. It’s not easy when you have no money. That worries me…