In years to come I might say those words. I might be that person dancing through life with an air of grace.

What she said to me was that I was nothing. Something I already knew. She didn’t say it so bluntly though. She hid behind the same mask that most people slip on every morning.

We tell people that we’re there for them. In spirit, in heart, in person. It doesn’t matter how we mean it, it’s usually nothing more than a comforting lie.

I feel like I’m a prosecutor in a courtroom. I feel like I’m also the defence. I gather my evidence and I tell myself that I won’t convict anyone, I’ll only save myself. I put the evidence back in its box and I take out a different box. Inside this box are my happy thoughts. Thoughts I cling to. They get me through the day. 

One day I will say those words. One day you’ll see me and you’ll see that I don’t need a mask. 

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