(I started this post yesterday)
I just got out of the bath. Baths just aren’t the relaxing time they used to be with a belly like mine. I hate the word belly, I also don’t particularly like tummy or stomach and abdomen just doesn’t sound right. Anyway, my bump has been the strangest, it’s lumpy or lopsided most of the time which makes me uncomfortable so lying back in the bath isn’t comfy. I’m looking forward to not sharing my body. I can’t move around very quickly because the baby also moves and that’s uncomfortable too. I’m at the end though! Beer is in sight! Haha. I’m joking. It’s 3 days until my due date so this is quite a strange period of time for me. I could go into labour as I type this. I’d like to think I’ll be strong throughout labour. I’m going to Stafford hospital and after a look around a few weeks ago I felt at ease, there were no screaming women, it’s a calm ward. However, they don’t offer epidurals so I’ll be in a lot of pain. I can be transferred to Stoke hospital by ambulance part way through for an epidural but I hope not to do that. I might have pethadine which is apparently like having 10 gins according to the midwife who did my risk assessment there. I don’t like the thought of it but it’s meant to calm you down.
Life is strange, I left my job on the 16th September and now my life is on hold. I get messages from people asking if I’m okay or if there is any sign of labour which is nice. I’m okay. I’m not afraid of labour. I’m very tired though, I don’t do a lot at the moment. I went to see Bridget Jone’s Baby on Saturday night; those who know me might question my film choice here but it’s so relatable. Most women see some of themselves in Bridget. She’s a mess so I like her, also we’ve all been alone drinking a bottle of wine feeling down at some point. The atmosphere was really good and we got a ticket for free from a nice, old lady. Other than that I cook during the day, I made a cottage pie last week and I’ve made a casserole today (day after one of my uncomfortable baths). I haven’t cooked in quite a long time, actually I don’t remember ever cooking very much. I used to make Sunday dinner and the occasional meal. I love chopping veg and throwing herbs together. I think I’ll be quite the chef eventually. I was a vegetarian for 12 years so I’ve only very recently started to cook meat. Mike usually cooks but now I’m at home I like to have a healthy meal ready for him (I’m so domesticated!). I literally didn’t know if meat had to be washed until recently. I still have a lot of love for animals. I was holding a pack of beef a few hours ago for the casserole and I saw that it stated where the animal was slaughtered. I stopped for a moment and felt guilty for being a part of something I once quietly protested against. I gave up a lot of cosmetics a few months ago because I’m against animal testing. I still haven’t gotten around to posting about it yet. I have some photos ready but I don’t have enough knowledge yet. I’m ashamed to say I recently bought Dove bath cream and N07 foundation. I just wanted a bath! I’ll find an alternative next time I buy some. As for the foundation I had tried a couple that weren’t tested on animals but they were terrible. I still gave away the majority of my nail polish collection and I loved painting my nails. I’m a hero, I know…
I’m really looking forward to Christmas this year. I love Christmas, I love this time of the year, from October through to February. I don’t look forward to summer like the majority. For me, there is something in the air when we reach October and I don’t understand what it is. I love the cool air, the crunchy leaves, the darker days. I love hot chocolates, jumpers and cosy fires. I love Halloween and Bon Fire Night. So I’m quite happy that summer is over, I don’t share the passion for it that most people have.
I think I’ve mentioned before that I don’t want to be ‘just a mom’. I’m going to get toned once I’ve had the baby. I’m interested in going to spin class, I think it’ll be fun. I’m also going to dip back into an old hobby; I used to make soap as a real amateur level which means none of the batches were good. I’d like to start off with making bath bombs, I’m not a huge bath fan. As a method of cleaning I prefer to have a shower but for relaxation it’s nice to have a bath. The bath bombs from Lush aren’t cheap; a while back I bought a shallow, wicker bowl for bath bombs and it’s full of other crap instead. 2 of Lush’s bath bombs cost around £9 so I have no hope of maintaining that shallow bowl.
I also might be starting a new course in January, Body Massage level 3. It’s a part time evening course in Stafford. I like to have hobbies and it’s nice to have job options. Open as many doors as you can.
I’ve decided I need a notebook, a fancy one isn’t required, I’m sure I’ll have something upstairs. I want it to write down notes and ideas for stories. I posted the start of something I’m working on on here. I haven’t added to it yet because I wanted to save it, I simply put the idea in a box and closed the lid. I’m beginning to peek inside the box though and I want to work on character development and general ideas over the next couple of months. I’d love to dive in and write but I know it’ll fall on its ass if I don’t do some real planning, then I’m likely to give up because I’m stuck.
I’m too tired to think of anything else to write so I’ll await the pain of labour. Here is a picture of my bump looking weird. This isn’t how it always looks, just quite often and it’s not comfortable. Little buggar.