Again I’m sat here writing before work, only this time I’m sat at my desk, not in the canteen in another building. I have been working here for nearly two weeks. I’m so grateful to be earning money. However, I recently realised that I’ve never had a proper job, from 2012-2015 I was an apprentice doing admin and finance at Wolgarston High School. I liked my job but it wasn’t ever really mine. My time was limited there. I was proud to work there, I was proud to wear my office clothing and to sit at my desk and I was proud to do finance work. This blog isn’t about that though, my point is I’m now in another job that’s not mine. It’s fine, it’s just a sad thought.
Moving on from jobs, this post/blog is for future me. It’s just a short documentation of my pregnancy. I think I’ve mentioned this before, photos are important to me; they capture significant moments. My memory isn’t all that great and I don’t want to be asked questions in the future about being pregnant and be unable to recall details. So I’ll probably write here from time to time.
I’m 18 weeks today and I now have a little bump. On the day that I was 12 weeks, Mike took his parents to Starbucks to tell them the news. It was taken well, his mom seemed excited. Mike drove home and when he got in he told his younger brother and he came in to our room to acknowledge it and typically of him, to make jokes. Everyone was happy about the news. Mike told his older brother and wife on 25th March, the day I went to see Trivium with Jade (before she knew).
On the day that I was 12 weeks and 5 days I told my family (29th March). It was 5 days after Mike’s family were told because I needed to arrange to go my my mom and sister’s house in Armitage. I had no idea how my family would react, I was a bit nervous. It took me ages to get there because buses from Stafford weren’t turning up for a while. When I finally arrived my mom offered me wine which I obviously declined, then coffee, I don’t drink caffeinated coffee anymore aside from the occasional cup but I said yes. Everyone knows I like a glass of wine so I made excuses, it didn’t feel right to walk in and announce my pregnancy but then about 20 minutes later it got bought up again and I still didn’t say the real reason. I think nerves were getting to me. Not too long into my visit Mike was on his way to pick me up so time was running out. Jade left the room and my mom was saying something that I think I was agreeing with whilst trying to slip my scan photo from pages of Doctor Sleep. I mumbled “I have something to tell you. I’m pregnant” and I held out the scan for her to take. My mom froze, looking horrified. I told her to take it (the scan) and she didn’t move. It was the longest half a minute ever. Then she said “Oh my god” and took the scan photo from me. Once the shock settled in she was excited. Jade came back in and mom showed her, she stared at the photo and accepted it quite well. Agh it was done. Relief. Following this I text my Nan and brother and anxiously awaited their responses. Both were fine. Then to finish off my announcement; I did the cliche thing and uploaded the photo to Facebook so that everyone knew.
I have bought a scrap book to document the scans and my bump. I haven’t started it yet, well I was going to buy I ruined the original scan photo. I used a glue gun on the back of it and it burnt through the image. Luckily I had taken a photo of the original scan to show to Emma. Below is the scan, 11 weeks, 6 days and my little bump today, 18 weeks, taken from work (the photos might only work on a desktop). My name is spelt wrong on the scan, I know. It’s the clearest scan I’ve ever seen. You can see its arm resting on its stomach. It was so amazing to see the little thing move about it the scan. It hit me. There’s a baby living and growing inside me, it’s real. In less than 3 weeks I find out the gender.