Option Paralysis

2016: Moddershall Oaks Spa, Oxford, Harry Potter Tour, York, Trivium, Muse, Coldplay, AC/DC, Mumford & Sons, crocheting, baking, marine tank, The Psychologist magazine, National Geographic magazine, new home, university, saving money, work, forests, lakes, reading, cinema, gym, swimming.

2016 is already off to a great start and I’m feeling really, really fortunate. We have already been to see 3 great films at the cinema this month and a forth this week, possibly. Yes, we’ve jumped on the Star Wars band-wagon and with no regrets. To be honest I’ve never been into Star Wars for no other reason that I’ve just not gotten round to it. I had questions from the start but the new film is great, we loved it. We have also been to see Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight; if I was asked what the film is about I’d struggle to do the film justice. What is it about? There is no massive plot to the film, and though this should be a negative thing, Tarantino massively delivers with his characters and dialogue, as usual. The third film we’ve been to watch is a film popular amongst film critiques, The Revenant, again lacking in plot a little and I’m quite sure we managed to miss something important at the start but it’s an impressive piece of film, perhaps for film buffs more than those looking for an easy watch. My advice is; don’t eat meat during the film. I would recommend The Hateful Eight to anyone providing they are accustomed to brutality and atrocious language. It’s funny and entertaining throughout. I would recommend Star Wars also, perhaps watch the previous films though. I think there’s a lot of people who wouldn’t appreciate The Revenant though, unfortunately, though I really enjoyed it also.

Today as usual, I’m off uni. I’ve just done my 3 days of work, now this is my time, or until around 2pm it is. From around 2pm onwards I plan (plan being quite key here) to do some uni work. I know I have such a boring piece of work to do for Wednesday that I would quite frankly rather not do. It’s a study skills piece of work; I love psychology but this is some bullshit work. The kind of work that everyone whines about but it ends up to actually be useful, I begrudgingly admit. Once again, I’ve gone a little bit spending-crazy, though, now I think of it the spending didn’t stop…therefore I continue to spend like a crazy son-of-a-bitch. We have 4 deliveries today, so number 26 is damn popular. Yesterday after work I decided I needed one of my favourite meals (for tonight) which consists of tuna steak (fresh from the counter), broccoli and new potatoes. So I bought these along with extra thick cream and strawberries. As I was shopping I realised that I really wanted to steam them, so whilst sat in Starbucks after work with my Mike I ordered a steamer that had dropped from £150 to just £49 on (Amazon) Prime. I love steamed fish and vegetables. I get to try this bad boy out tonight.

Now I’d like to talk about option paralysis a little, as it’s a thought that often occupies my over-filled, forever unsatisfied mind. I have this thought that I want to do so many things but I cannot do them all because there isn’t the time. I genuinely become overwhelmed by everything. I sometimes feel panicky or even a little stressed at the thought that I can’t do everything that I want to do. I like to create. I like to achieve. I like to be busy. Lets consider today, there is so much that I want to do. I want to read Bag of Bones (which is taking me almost a lifetime to get through), I want to do my coursework (I use “want” loosely here), I want to read my newly arrived magazine; The Psychologist, I want to retrieve my Nintendo DS from the car and play Zelda, I want to crochet, I want to make cookies, I want lunch. The list really could go on. There is never the time, I usually read in the morning and get a little work done in the afternoon. Mike gets home around 5.30pm, from then onwards all my plans go out the window because we get some crap on the TV, eat and talk all evening until we sleep. When he reads this he’ll probably insist on giving me space that I don’t want. Anyway this is just a typical day of desires, I have most days like this. I end up paralysed and getting very little done instead of using my time more wisely. Then feel mentally unsatisfied.

First world problems, eh!?

Being overwhelmed really limits me because I can’t think rationally. I need to just calm down and slow down.

I have started crocheting again, I’m making a blanket. The yarn is so stretchy and soft, it’s going to be a really nice, heavy blanket that won’t come into use for another year now. I know crocheting isn’t cool but I’m not cool. I do it because it’s theraputic and rewarding to create something with my own hands. I love intricate weaving. I love progress. It will be nice to say “Look at this, it took me months to make”.

There is a lot going on; out of the list of bands (at the top) I’m going to see I just need to buy tickets for Trivium, the rest I have ticket for. I have discovered a new love, Mumford & Sons. We have tickets for their Hyde Park gig later this year. I started listening to their Sigh No More album just a couple of weeks ago and  immediately fell for their folksy, thigh-slapping, toe-tapping sound. Unfortunately their new album doesn’t compare and they have moved on to a more indie sound, desite this I can’t wait to see them. I particularly love the line below:

“Love; will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you you free. Be more like the man you were made to be.”

Going back to my topic, I have larger thoughts causing option paralysis, I want my own business, I want to work in Psychology, I want to write… I want to sail the god damn seas! I feel like I could be split into two people and still have plenty of drive, love, passion and creativity. It’s endless and it’s kind-of beautiful. I’m like a snow globe, when I’m shaken everything is disturbed and I’m filled with scattered thoughts. Then it settles only to be shaken up again shortly after.

One last thought for now. We both want to visit extraordinary places on our wonderful planet. One of which will be Iceland. So we’ll be slowly saving for this over a 2 year period. I want magic in my life and the Harry Potter tour in London next month is hopefully just the beginning…

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s