I have been struggling for quite some time now. I can’t even put my finger on it. I don’t understand what is going on in my odd brain. I haven’t been happy for whatever reason and I haven’t felt safe. I felt safe when I was in a relationship. Someone looked out for me. Someone was there every day. I appreciate that even more now it’s gone.

I’ve changed in a negative way. I’ve always been a little odd and reckless but this has reached a point where I need to do some soul-searching or whatever to get myself on a good path. I’m not entirely sure how to make things better but I’m really going to try not to stay lost anymore.

There are a few people who see past all of your shit and see the good in you. I’m fortunate enough to have people who support me no matter what. I love those people. I’m trying to be develop better relationships with the people I care about.

I turned my life around before and I will do it again. Only this time it’ll be better. I will be a better person.

From now on I want to learn to be happy. I want to learn to connect better with people. I want to learn to appreciate more.

Recently I’ve had some trouble at work. It’s all down to my struggling. I’ve felt so lost, I forgot what was important. I’m walking away happy and strong though, I’m determined to. I’m also walking away with 2 “excellent” references, 2 qualifcations and 3 years experience. It’s been tough lately but all is definately not lost.

I’m having a fresh start this summer. A new and better job and a new home that will be mine for a while. Maybe I will take up a new and productive hobby soon also.

It’s so important to be kind to others and to yourself. It’s important to care about things and the truth is I haven’t cared about anything enough for quite some time. I need my care back.

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