Download.

The past 6 days have been crazy. I’ve not been home long but I want to stay awake so I don’t mess up my sleeping pattern. I had a night out with my friends in Stafford then Download for 5 days. I’m not going to lie and say it was amazing, it was really fun but there were some shit moments. For a start the place is huge and getting from one place to the other was exhausting and the mud was hard to deal with…so much mud. I’m suprised that I managed not to fall. I got stuck in it a few times and on one of the nights I got lost on my own for hours and ended sitting in a room with people throwing up, that was gross. The second night was the craziest for me, I got drunk with my friend and we got invited to sit and drink with a bunch of people who had a gazebo in our camp because of the rain, loads of people were introducing themselves and shaking my hand, an Austrailian woman started to dry my hair for me then we proceeded to follow a couple of guys through the Download villiage. I didn’t even know where we were going, but I didn’t care. Then we met some other guys, got split up from most of them and me, my friend and one guy were left to wonder around, drunk. That night we went on a ride that made me really dizzy and smoked rasberry tea…then me and the guy went to smoke weed in his tent and then I went back to my camp…most random night of my life. Most of the nights I was actually sober though which was probably for the best because I know I would of ended up on the floor in the all the mud. My favourite moments were Trivium, Corey Taylor, Metallica, Opeth and Lamb Of God. Lamb Of God was quite crazy, I was the wall of a mosh pit, trying not to die, but it was awesome all the same. The atmosphere at Download is amazing, everyone speaks to everyone and although this might sound strange, it felt like we were one huge family. The worst things about Download were; sleeping, it was uncomforable, people were very loud and planes were constantly going past right over our tents. One night a plane was so loud, it not only woke me up I though it was going to crash and I was really scared. Another bad thing was not being able to shower and the amount of people that went made it quite stressful.

It’s been nice being away from all the things we take for granted. Small things that we don’t give much consideration for on a normal day should mean more to us. This post would of been longer, but I can’t be bothered to think of anything else to add right now.

On an entirely different note; thanks for the apology…

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47 Responses to Download.

  1. willbott says:

    Comment on my other blank blog if you want. Why did you delete the entire blog post…? Darren had made a nice comment.

  2. willbott says:

    I hadn’t actually ever read this blog post because I was worried it’d mention the two guys there. I didn’t know you smoked weed there Kayl, you always told me it’d been ages since you had… you had sex with a guy for weed?
    Also, thank you for what apology? Was that aimed at Liam?

  3. willbott says:

    I never read it because I was scared of what you’d done. Seems I was right to be.. You lied about smoking weed, that sucks a bit.
    Was the apology from Liam?

    • TheCreator says:

      I didn’t lie. And no.

      • willbott says:

        You told me you hadn’t smoked weed for a very long time when we started dating. I don’t call that a long time.. that’s not important though. I think you told white lies throughout our entire relationship.. like you do to Mike. Those little things where you bend it to make it so you haven’t ‘technically’ lied.
        What was the apology thing about then?
        Want to find an easier way to talk. I feel I want to share a couple of the photos on the camera with you. You’d like them a lot. Made me smile. I looked through them all quite slowly.

      • TheCreator says:

        I don’t lie. You always make out like you know things and you don’t.
        That’s okay, I’d rather not look back but thanks.

      • willbott says:

        Who was the apology from Kayl? It’s not about looking back in a negative way. It’s about remembering the good times and looking back at happy memories. There’s some great ones of you. I’d forgotten how much I made you smile and how happy I made you. I bet you have to.
        You do tell white lies Kayl, maybe not lies but you always have a way of wording things so you don’t lie but don’t reveal what you don’t want to. You’re very good at it, and that’s worrying.
        Also, why did you delete your most recent post and loads from Download to 2015. You made some pretty good posts, don’t get why you got rid. It’s like you tried to erase any memory of ever being happy with me.. kinda sad really.
        Want to find a better way to talk. KiK?

      • TheCreator says:

        I don’t see the need to look back at all. If I look back at my past it sometimes stops me in my tracks. I’m trying to be a more positive person now.

      • willbott says:

        But surely looking back will allow you to be positive. Knowing you can look back, and see that you were happy and that you are now. You can build on that, surely.
        I look back at how happy we were and just get happy as a result. It makes me happy to have known that I bought you so much happiness. One of the photos shows you smiling so much. I doubt many more than 2-3 people have seen you that happy. And that makes me proud, privileged and happy. Being positive isn’t about blocking things out. It’s about always seeing the positive Kayl πŸ™‚ I’m here if you want to talk properly on something or get a drink. You know how to find me

  4. willbott says:

    You’re actually the only person who is critical of me anymore and challenges me. It’d be nice to just have a conversation with you and talk to you. We used to do a lot of deep conversations and shit. I’d like to know how I come across as selfish and change it so I don’t. WillBott on KiK or you’re not blocked. I know you’re banned from talking to me by Mike but it hasn’t stopped the commenting, so you clearly kinda want to still. It’s a shame you’re being controlled. And don’t say it’s your choice, he gave you the ultimatum. Wonder if you still get to talk to Liam as you wanted to.

    • TheCreator says:

      I didn’t say you were selfish, it was a general statement. We ALL are.

      • willbott says:

        Fair point. We all are, but in being selfish to make myself happy, I was making you happy. That’s not so bad is it? I am a bit sad I no longer have anyone I can just make happy when I want and do stuff for them. I have friends I can do nice things for but it isn’t the same.
        Kayl, if you don’t mind saying. Who was the apology from?

      • TheCreator says:

        You’ll find someone. It was to my other ex.

      • willbott says:

        Simon? Why was he apologising to you at Download… I wish I’d read that when we met.. Haha.
        I know I will Kayl πŸ™‚ it’s not arrogant to say that. I’m not looking and I’m accidentally finding people. But I’m able not just leap at the first person and make sure it’s right. I’m always busy every single day and night, so I’m not that fussed about meeting anyone at the moment. Thank you for telling me too.

      • TheCreator says:

        Good. I couldn’t be happier too. I’m stupidly happy πŸ™‚

      • willbott says:

        Ha, good πŸ™‚ I’m glad you’re happy again.
        I didn’t mean it to slip out but I haven’t ever been this happy. I find a new part of me. I now live to do things. I’m outgoing, I say yes to going anywhere and it could be right out of my comfort zone. Yesterday I said yes to arriving back from Scotland and going straight to a gig with Martha. The place was full of punk fans and I didn’t fit in at all. But I fucking loved it. Wearing green trousers and a blue hoody whilst everyone else had black.. Didn’t matter that I stood out. I shouted, I moshed, I was me. I’m so happy I can just be me. I’m so surprised at myself. I didn’t think I could be happy again, after leaving you. Let alone happier. Seems we both did well, huh?

      • TheCreator says:

        Yeah. I have so much going on too. And I’m completely in love. It’s amazing.

      • willbott says:

        I’m glad πŸ™‚ I hope it all goes well for you! What do you have going on?

      • TheCreator says:

        Plenty but that’s my life with him and I don’t wish to seem like I’m bragging to be honest.

      • willbott says:

        Haha. I wouldn’t mind at all Kayl. It won’t be bragging. I asked didn’t I?

      • TheCreator says:

        Well there’s two weeks in New York over Christmas and New Year.

      • willbott says:

        That sounds great πŸ˜€ you’re so lucky. New York in winter is so nice. You’ll love it. It will be cold as fuck, but just wrap up warm.

      • TheCreator says:

        I know πŸ˜€ I’m so excited. Oh yeah, I’m getting a decent coat before I go!

      • willbott says:

        Haha yes you’ll need one! I remember how cold you could get for no reason at all. Living in your dressing gown xD having so much to do is shooting me in the foot.. Need to save for holidays. Grrr. Pay me more

      • willbott says:

        I feel sometimes like i let you down you know. I know I made you happy and we were so happy. It was bliss at times and we had it all. But, I saw how important money was to you and I’m seeing it again. I sometimes feel sorry I didn’t have enough money for you. Sorry for that Kayl

      • TheCreator says:

        Don’t. Money isn’t everything.

      • willbott says:

        I know it isn’t. But you always had such a focus on it whilst we were together.
        Also, don’t be mad but the 30 agreement is off haha. You won’t need it, you’re set for life now and I might’ve made a new one..
        Have you heard of the Misfits?

      • TheCreator says:

        Oh yeah, it’s definitely off as I’d love to have a baby with Mike. Haha. I have yes.

      • willbott says:

        Wow okay haha. You’ve not been together that long :s even after the shaky start you’re already sure you want a baby? Not being negative, just observing. He left you a few times over nothing. I gather it’s all sorted now but maybe slow down and make sure it’s right first πŸ™‚ don’t rush because he’s older. You’ve still got years ahead of you. I don’t want a baby until I’m 28.
        Ahh thought you had. They were pretty awesome live. Got a big following here. Lots of moshing ! Lucky I have a new deal then xD haha. Not that I’ll need it πŸ™‚

      • TheCreator says:

        Oh I’m not rushing. It’s completely sorted now.

      • willbott says:

        Good πŸ™‚ I’m glad. I don’t want you to be in another relationship with someone destructive. It would’ve been some cruel twist of fate if you had sorted yourself and ended up with a version of yourself from 2 years ago.. Even though, wouldn’t surprise me: the world is sometimes so shit

      • TheCreator says:

        Ah no πŸ™‚

      • willbott says:

        Hehe πŸ™‚ good. So, what other plans. Can’t be just New York in a few months. I know you and your plans

      • TheCreator says:

        Ah it doesn’t matter. We don’t need to talk about our lives.

      • willbott says:

        Oh. Alright. If it’s all sorted now does that mean we can go to normality and talk on whatsapp or text? Or do you keep deleting comments because Mike doesn’t know we’ve spoken?

      • TheCreator says:

        It’s sorted but we can’t be friends. And that is for the best.

      • willbott says:

        Ahh that’s a shame Kayl. You need to stop cutting your hair and moving on. Maybe you’d keep more people in your life. I don’t know or care if it’s you or him that’s driving that decision. But, I hoped you or him could’ve been bigger and better than that and moved past it. And if it its him. Don’t be controlled. If it’s you, don’t continue this. Stop crushing your past as if It’s ice and will melt away. It won’t. I’m always up for a chat. And you can always find me, even if I didn’t want you to… Haha

      • TheCreator says:

        We ended up in an unhealthy friendship. That’s the problem. I have a new life now.

      • willbott says:

        I know πŸ™‚ as do I. But still, it hasn’t required me to cut anyone out. Having a new life doesn’t mean shedding your old entirely. You didn’t have a lot to lose. So maybe you should hold tighter on to what you do have

      • TheCreator says:

        I will do just that πŸ™‚

      • willbott says:

        Good πŸ™‚ I know it’s probably him that’s driven it. And it’s a shame that has convinced you to. He got to control you.
        Do you still get to talk to Liam? I felt the me, or Liam and Will ultimatum was very year 10 high school 😦
        I know you’re happy and that is great. But don’t be controlled. And I know you’ll tell me that we can’t be friends because you don’t want to be. But, why do you reply on here? I know soon you’ll just block me. But you clearly has a desire to talk to me at friend level. But do it where you know Mike won’t see and where you can delete all evidence

      • TheCreator says:

        You’re right, we shouldn’t be talking.

      • willbott says:

        Haha. Under order of high prince Mike the third? Sorry. I just find it bad that you’ve allowed yourself to be controlled. I’m glad your happy but sad you’re controlled. Probably not in a lot. But being banned from talking to me and to Liam is bad. You could’ve doubled your friend group. We have a lot in common and I might’ve taken you to a good gig now and then if anyone else couldn’t make it. But okay πŸ™‚ I’ll keep reading if you blog. Oh, and please will you start your writing again some time and post it on here? You’re good and I was wanting to see what you’d come up with

      • TheCreator says:

        I’m no one’s last resort but thank you for the offer. I don’t think I’ll write anything else here. I’ll start a new blog.

      • willbott says:

        I didn’t say you were a last resort. But you’re not my first choice to take to a gig, even though you are into the right kinda music to take along. Shame really. Being so controlled that you’re leaving behind something you loved. Your blog, you’ve even deleted huge portions of it. That’s sad Kayl. I know you’ll say you wanted to, and that it’s your choice and it’ll make him happy. But this is the control that I experienced whilst with you. You tell yourself you want to. Then I realised that I was doing all this stuff because of you not because of me. It’s like subliminal subconscious control. it’s dangerous because it makes you believe you want it too. But you already know you want a baby with him after 4 months, so you must’ve found the exact right guy and know it already πŸ™‚
        It’ll be a shame if I don’t ever get to read anything by you again, I enjoy your writing. Cut throat and to the point. No expense spared and void of emotion, I like it.

      • TheCreator says:

        He’s not controlling me. My writing was full of emotion. Maybe reread it…

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